Moving On

Since around the end of September, I've been attending and leading worship at other churches, and it really has been a wonderful thing. I realize how big the body of Christ is, and how fun it is to go and relieve those that serve weekly in leading worship, so that they can have some recharge time. I've really been liking this a lot. Recently, I've done it a few times at the Desert Springs Church Refresh service and that has been great to work with Paul Talley, Dave Harrison, and Michael Gagliardi (and his daughter on bass - go girls!). Anyway, I write this in case some of you have been wondering why you don't see me leading worship at Southwest anymore. It just seemed like a season of eight years of ministry was coming to a close there, and that it was time to move on. Meanwhile, I've been really enjoying leading worship here and there, whether it's a women's retreat or a Sunday morning service or for my treasured friends in my bible study group. It has really been a great time of refreshing and also allowed me to handle some new responsibilities at work (helping to administer the IB Middle Years Programme at the school where I teach). Anyway, just in case you wondered if I'd fallen off the map, I'm still here.
Regarding writing and the worship posts project, I think i'm going to hold on for right now. I'm really just enjoying leading people in worship in a live setting with songs that they know (and maybe one or two they dont' know yet) as the Holy Spirit leads. It is such an incredible adventure to be a part of, and to partner with everyone in that moment of that worship experience. It's a great honor to be able to facilitate moments with God for people. So, since those moments seem to be happening through live worship together with others and not writing on my own, that's what I'm going with.
A friend of mine once said that people are never in the same place that you've left them. I really love that idea because it means that you allow them to grow and change, just as you are growing and changing. In a way, it's like considering grace and forgiveness for yourself as well as your friends - and the exciting part is always reuniting with them to find out what they've been up to since you've last met. I think, unfortunately, we're not as good at extending this kind of grace to people who have - in our estimation - harmed or wronged us in some way. But, it is the thing we must do. To extend grace and mercy. As we have been given we need to freely give - and in this case what we give is the grace and the space to grow and just as we are too. I guess it could be likened to the verse where Paul says "when I was a child I talked like a child..." (1 Cor 13:11) etc. I write this because people often leave a place of worship becuase they are embittered by something - but they are our brothers and sisters in Christ, continually growing and changing just as we are - and we need to extend the grace and peace of Christ to them as well as receive it for ourselves.
In His arms,
Julie

Yes, I'm still here!

After a LONG hiatus, I'm back.
My most recent PET scan was totally free and clear. So, I'm looking to what God has in store ahead. One thing that has been on my heart and mind is to do some kind of a worship blog and post video of worship times, and even original music. The music would likely be done via webcam until I can figure out how to do recording for real...but that will take awhile.

After attending the Bethel School of Worship this past summer, a few things have been re-ignighted in me. One of which is writing and devoting time to being with Christ and hopefully songwriting as well. I'll post clips of various things that are in process and look forward to feedback. Next step: learn how to use the technology so that I can do it! So, stay tuned because I will be posting stuff as soon as I can figure it out.

I'm also looking forward to this coming school year and being with kids and teaching algebra, which I love to do. This year I'll also be co-coordinating the International Baccalaureate Middle Years Programme at our school, which is a bit daunting, but I'm looking forward to growing in that as well.
Blessings to you,
Julie

Clear PET scan!!! and personal stuff

Hi all,
It will be almost two years next month that I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and what great news to hear that I'm cancer Free!!! Wahoo!!!
I'm feeling really good these days physically and I feel like the school year has just flown by. Ive even had the chance to attend a few conferences for school due to scholarships-one I'll attend this coming weekend in Salt Lake City the NCTM (National Council of Teachers of Mathematics). That should be good and I look forward to learning what the research has to say about effective strategies and advances.
I have to say it has been an amazing year in terms of school. I really sense God 's favor there with students and with other teachers and the administration. I'm really so very very very grateful for that.
It's nice to be in a place now that, mentally, I can really move on with my life and not think about cancer possibly coming back. I'm looking ahead and forward.

In personal news, I had a serious boyfriend for about a year and a half during my battle-it's acutally a wonderful story becuase we had met after I was diagnosed and he was amazing to me during that whole time. We loved each other and still do, but we broke up about a month and a half ago. I have greived about that and am really praying and hoping that God will bring the right man into my life. I really want that. In fact, I think that's honestly more of a source of heartache to me than having cancer! So...
If you know of any quality christian guys out there, please send them my way!

Church stuff has been quite different and that has been hard as well. I don't seem to have the opportunities that I did to lead worship and that is somewhat heartbreaking to me. Maybe that's God's way of wanting to reposition me somehwere else? I don't know, but I want to listen and follow what He is doing. I am going to be able to do worship at a retreat in a couple of weeks with Paul Talley, Jody Moses and David Harrison and i'm looking forward to doing a lot of worship within a weekend. Moreover, I'm looking forward to being away and in an environment where I'm going to be steeped in the word. I'd really like to hear from God about where he wants me to be. I need to know. I'm pining to know actually.

I reflect on the past almost two years and it has been an amazing journey. God has used all of you to support me in ways that are truly remarkable and I feel so unworthy and so grateful. Thank you!!!!!

love
Julie

School year is going great! Praise God for favor!!

Hi everyone,
I know it has been some months since my last post. I'm doing really well and God has truly blessed me with one of the best ever years of teaching. I have really wonderful students and only have one math level class, though it's for 80 minutes each day, so I've had to create a lot of material for activities, etc, but I'm really just soooooo grateful for the kindness of Christ and you all for being such amazingly loving and wonderful family to me. I know my own family asks me why I'm still here in the desert, and the truth is that it's where God has me for now, and there are so many of you that I love so dearly. I truly have a home with you.
As far as serving at church these days, I'm doing it where I can, though not in the same capacity that I was before. I really enjoy being able to sing and play and serve others through it so I'm glad for the opportunities when they come- I love to give it away. I do wonder if I'll ever be able to lead in the same way that I did before and I guess that's up to God.
As for workouts-as many of you know I love to exercise- I was in really really good shape when school started and since then, with my energy going towards school more, I didn't have the stamina that I did at the beginning of the school year. However, I go for it when I can and I realize that I will continually need to work on my neck and shoulders probably for the rest of my life since things have been sort of re-arranged due to my replacement parts and the strain that puts on the muscles that run through that area.
I also have regular issues with edema in my hand and sometimes my arm, though it's more noticeable in my hand to me. It does help when I run and exercise so I try to do that as much as possible.
Today after going to the gym, I went on the bump and grind in Rancho Mirage and the weather was so stunning and it felt so good to be outside in the sun. I have to say, though, that doing both working out this am and then the bump and grind might have been a bit overboard...but I think it was worth it :-)
I'm grateful for my bible study family and the true friends that they are to me. I know that I can always lean on them even when things are tough personally. You know, it's hard to be single sometimes, and I just appreciate their love and support in everything. They're an awesome group and fun, too. I'm truly blessed to be with them.

As far as medical stuff, I have a PET scan and a breast MRI in March. right now it's scheduled for th 11th but I think i'm going to move it to spring break so that I don't have to take a school day off to do it. I'm also going to do a DEXA scan to check my bones and see where I'm at as far as the drug impact on my bone density/osteoperosis. My aunt has osteopenia so I'm just wanting to make sure that, due to the drugs, I'm not doing what I can to prevent it. It would also be nice to have some kind of a baseline to work from. Incidentally, I did do a baseline mammogram when I was 35 and was so glad that I did (I' 39 now) becuae when the cancer did come up and they took some new films they then had something to compare it with. I highly advise that for all women that are 35. Most insurances won't do it until you're 40. fortunately, my mom and sister both has fibroids so that made it a reason to get a baseline with me.
Anyway, I'll let you all know how all of that goes.

Dr. Luke says that if I make it to the 2 year mark, the statistics will really be in my favor -wahoo!!! this will be the 1 year mark in march. Well, really the 1.5 year mark since I had my surgery in october a year ago.

Praising God for favor....
Julie

Back to School!!

Hi all,
I've been back to school for a couple of months now and it is so incredibly great to be back at school with kids. I'm so glad to be cancer free. I just had bloodwork yesterday and I haven't heard back yet but I think it's going to be fine. When I have my next set of scans in March I'm going to get a chest MRI along with a PET scan, since there is a concern about the metasteses to the chest wall since we didn't radiate. One of the funnier things was learning that, if it comes back, it will be in the first two years since it was so aggressive.
News like that can really impact your perspective, you know and I'm glad for that. I know life is short and thinking about it like that makes it seem limited definitely but also look at activities in your life with the long view in mind. I still wish that little things that are meaningless didn't drive me crazy at times, but I think I'm getting better at making choices about how best to spend my time and how to take better care of myself, and you know, I think that it's very good.
I am going to participate with a schol team that will be walking in the Relay for Life fundraiser for the American Cancer Society on November 10th and 11th at Palm Desert Highg school. It should be a lot of fun. There were be several kids participating from school so it'll be a good time for them as well.
So very grateful to be back at work and for all of your love and support that helped me to be able to do that!! :-)
Julie

Final treatment and surgery today -Wahoo!!!

Well, my look continues to change and I'm continuing to learn all about how to live a little differently now. I think that, last week, while taking a math class, that I could pretty much resume the level of a schedule I had in the past....hmmm. NOT really is what I found out. You know, taking care of myself and making healthy choices is something that I continually must put ahead of other things. As a person who is a little intenses, usually involved in many different things, I'm learning that just as one needs to be responsible with a financial budget, I need to be responsible with my physical budget. I'm learning how to put my health first and other activities and interest aside and it has been a bit challenging becuase my mind wants to be in charge, but I have to respect my limits. Thats a healthy thing to do. I'm sure that I'll improve over time, but I'm not sure that I'll ever return to the level of activity I had b.c. (before cancer) becuase it was frankly too much. I think there is a difference between doing things for God and serving God. One is what we think we ought to do, and the other is what he draws us to. I love singing and playing worship music. I am passionate about it, I love it and know I was made to do it....but maybe not at the pace I was doing it before. We'll see as the year unfolds and as I return to school at John Glenn Middle school teaching eighth grade algebra if I can get involved with anything outside of school on a regular basis, but for right now, I can't do that becuase I think I'll need energy to transition to school again. Right now I'm just trying to eat well, exercise well, sleep well, and, well, get out of town a few times before the breakneck pace of school begins

HEALTH News
I wanted to let you all know what was going on health-wise with me within the last week. Monday was my last herceptin treatment, and today at around noon, I have surgery to have my port removed – wahoo!!! I had some tears as I hugged the chemo nurses after my infusion on Monday at Dr. Luke's office and thanked them for their kindness. (I’m going to send them flowers, too). So, all of this is pretty exciting!!! My hair is finally starting to look normal and I’m enjoying the color and the fact that it’s short.

last week I was experiencing some unusual and significant pelvic pain and without going into all of the details let’s just say that it's crazy how a health concern just starts to spin everything around it for me now. It would have been fine to be going from one doctor or test to another but it was crazy to try to juggle that with the math class I was taking last week, music rehearsals consecutive evenings, car issues, and other meetings with people. Yikes!! It was a good wake up call. I can’t handle that level of activity just yet so I’m glad for the “test case” week that I had. Oh, I also had a brain MRI last Friday which was routine and an additional test that the doctor who I saw in texas ordered (I was in texas for a couple of weeks in july). The reason that she ordered this is that the Pet scan that I did in march didn’t include the brain, and with the type of aggressive her2/nu cancer that I had, she said the brain is one place that it travels. I don’t expect anything to turn up since I’m feeling so great.

I worked out hard yesterday morning with my friend, Elli and it was great (especially since I’m not how the surgery will limit me given a few stitches, etc on my left side). Oh well, it’s the last hurdle, right? And a pretty small one comparatively.

Regarding tamoxifen, Dr, O’Shaughnessy (the doctor to whom I referred above), who I saw for my herceptin infusion while I was in texas brought up the fact that two out of the three pathology reports indicated that I was ER/PR negative. That is, the lab test parameters determined that my hormone receptor status was not a factor in causing the cancer to grow. Thus, she asked my why I was on it and I explained what I knew at the time but since she made a good case, and I’m not so keen on being on a drug like that with side effects, I stopped for about a week, but then reconsidered and started taking it again pending a discussion with Dr. Luke. So, I discussed this with Dr. Luke this past Monday for my last treatment and we talked about the statistics and the way the lab tests are designed. The short of it is that Eisenhower’s lab tests were more specific, showing the exact percentage of hormone receptors (8 and 11%) that were in the cancer cells at the time of diagnosis, while the other two reports did not provide that detail. Furthermore, the cutoff used by the other labs that designate a “negative’ reading is at 10% while Eisenhower uses 5%. Therefore you can see that, given my stats, this call was a bit iffy. However, given my age and the fact that tamoxifen is proven to have a 50% reduction in recurrence rates, combined by the fact that the side effects are not majorly life altering, it makes sense to take it for the five years so that I know that I am being just as aggressive now with my approach to treatment as I had been in the beginning. Plus if it were to recur I would want to know that I had taken advantage of the options that seemed reasonable.

Well, that’s quite a lot of info and hope you are all doing well. I’m feeling great and looking forward to surgery. Praise Jesus for his incredible kindness and healing and how he has carried me in all of this.

Love to you all,

Julie

Pictures!! Before, during and after...

Now that I know how to upload pics I thought I would post a few for everyone to see how the last year has "looked"....This second to bottom one was my last day of school last year which was also my first day of chemo and I used a sword and shield (courtesy of the Pendleton family) as props to tell my students about my upcoming battle. The one with the microphone was before I was even diagnosed with cancer so I was still blonde! The hospital picture is of my mother and I at USC/NOrris cancer center in LA after my first surgery on October 18, 2006. The one with the dredlock rasta hat (bottom picture) is from the bowling benefit and Lindsey Miller is on my right while her mom, Lori Acosta is on my left. Two wonderful women! The upper right corner picture was taken after James and Sherry DiBari were kind enough to take a razor to my head and clean up what didn't fall out....The one of me taking my own picture was when I had no eyebrows or eyelashes, and I was well into the chemo cycle. Wearing that scarf was a normal part of my headgear when I would go out (hats looked ridiculous on me) and the one of Julie Jervis, myself and maria Cathcart was taken at Dan's farewell recently, so that's the most recent picture i have of my hair, though it's a little longer now :-)

Thought you'd get a kick out of these!

Julie

Getting there but feeling like I'm stuck on a plateau

Hi there,

I've just discovered how to post pictures so I'll put a few up so you can see how my look changed from blondie to baldie to... brunette -ee? This pic is from Dan's farewell and I'm with Julie Jervis and Maria Cathcart from our bible study (which is awesome by the way)

Now for the update...
I'm going to have my herceptin treatment and I'm excited as I count on my calendar to have four more treatments left after this and then a morning surgery to get my port out. Last week I had the opportunity to work with a personal trainer at the Cooper Center in Dallas when i was out of town and it was such a great experience. I worked pretty hard with a trainer there and she pushed me (yes I was really sore) BUT that has given me movement and strenthening tools to work with that seem to be foundational and build on the physical therapy that I'm currently pursuing. Even better is when I visited my local physical therapist/trainer Marilyn, I actually walked away from that appointment walking with the correct posture and no pain!! That was AMAZING. It's so neat working with her becuase it's not like I"m pushing myself when I'm with her, she just knows what to do and I leave feeling so much better. It's almost counterintuitive because you think that you have to work really hard to acheive results when overkill is not what is needed here. So, I'm working on building some foundational strength in all areas and learning what moderation is....for those of you that know me, that is definitley a process.
I do feel, however, like I'm at a plateau and my energy is kind of stuck at a particular point. I mean, I'm taking a math class to get my brain back in gear, and it's a six hour class on saturdays and I came home today and I was wiped out. If it weren't for a diversion fixing sprinklers I would have been in bed napping. I just wonder if this is normal. I'll ask when I'm at the doctor on Monday. Having another UTI and an upper respiratory infection at the same time within the last two weeks was a little deflating becuase I was wondering why I wasn't bouncing back so quickly. I think the key is that my body is in a "rebuilding" phase and I just have to look at things like that. I'm so so so so glad that I have the time to do it. I guess I though, though, that i would be further along on the energy curve than I am now. I still can't really run beyond about 5-7 minutes. Oh well. God has done amazing things and as I glance at the bald-headed picture that I have on my wall from the bowling event I'm so grateful that Christ has carried me through this and continues to. My hair is getting a little longer and is actually getting kind of fuzzy around my neck and needs a cut. As for the color, I'm kind of experimenting with reds/browns and that will likely continue for awhile as I'm growing it out. It's kind of fun that way, actually.
Prayers for restoration of my immune system and muscular-skeletal system are appreciated.
Blessings and much love to you all,
Julie