Chemo brain - seriously!

Hi Everyone,
Well, I've been working hard on trying to get my body back into normalcy but what about my mind? some of you I'm sure are convinced that it's been gone for a long time, but seriously I really can say that I've noticed the effect of the chemo on my brain. I've been trying to get back of the swing of things mathematically, that is by doing a little math every day beginning with the concepts and skills that my students are learning just to freshen up. Yesterday I felt as if I were in a slow motion moment...for about two hours. Seriously, my synapses were firing very slowly or those neural pathways are a bit cluttered from all of the dust in the dendrites. Ugh. I'm glad that I'm working on it becuase I need to get my brain back in shape. Even simple calculations seem to take much longer and things that I just knew and could fire off quickly are now a bit labored to arrive at. I'm sure all of my students would laugh, that would be the best revenge, right? A teacher who's brain is sluggish at math?
It's like riding a bike I'm sure so that in a few months I'll be back in the flow of things mathematically speaking. it's just that I havent looked at any of that stuff in ten months. I really didn't think that I would forget it but I find that sometimes I'm forgetting steps or making careless errors or just forgetting pieces of concepts. It's coming back though. I was working on absolute value equations yesterday and those were cool. Today I'm reviewing solving quadratics. It's fun, really becuase I enjoy arriving at the answer and just the puzzled process that one has to go through to get there and the shortcuts that you can find to make it easier. I just think it's cool how it all works out in the end, that's all. Not that I was an avid fan of math in high school myself but algebra was always kind of fun becuase it just made sense, that's all.
Anyway, thought you might like to have a laugh on me. I can officially say that I have had chemo brain and I am working on getting it back :-)

Meanwhile, the neck and shoulders are bothering me and I'm doing what I can exercise and physical therapy wise but have really really done hardly anything with arms. I haven't been feeling the greatest either Saturday or yesterday but, hey, I had about a week and a half where my energy was off the wall so a setback of a few days is fine. It's just nice to know that things are headed in an upward direction :-)

Julie

PET scan results 3/13, visit next week to LQHS

Hi all,
I have great news!!!
I had a PET scan and it came back totally clean!!! This means that I'm in the clear for at least another year. I don't need another scan until then. Dr. Luke said he expected nothing less than this result basically because I'm still taking some good drugs. If it were to come back it might show up at 1-2 years (that's the typical thing) but it's all gone!!!
What's more is that i'm really starting to feel "normal" physically. I mean, last week around Thursday I woke up and thought "I'm back!" I just all of a sudden had a tremendous amount of energy (and not from drinking coffee...) that lasted and I've been working out more days in a row at the gym than I have been able to before. I've even started to run on a couple of days for about 10-15 minutes at a time. So, it's a start. I'm feeling really good in terms of internal energy.
On the neck/shoulder front, I think I've accepted that it's going to be a longer process to get back to normal with those muscles. My left shoulder is still troublesome despite the physical therapy exercises, etc. I always look forward to my visits to see Ron so that he can work on those. Gary Smith helped tremendously last week when I went to him for a chiropractic adjustment since he said I really needed it (and boy could I feel that I did). He's really good. That brought some relief, but I find that I'm constantly stretching my neck and shoulders and am trying to be conscious of my posture since everything from my hamstrings to my neck is tight. I asked my pt about getting a massage and he said not yet. It has been about two months since the surgery so perhaps the scar tissue is getting in the way of the shoulder mobility. I don't know but I just keep being persistent with it and listening so that I don't overdo.
Now that my body seems to be coming back, I'm looking forward to getting my mind more disciplined. I feel a bit flaccid in my brain so I'm going to possibly take a math class as a refresher and a way to kind of get my mind headed in the right direction again. I've been reading but working on a skill like math is different and necessary. I've been working on the physical aspect, but the mental aspect is also important.

LQHS visit next Wednesday, 3/21
I'm excited to go to LQHS next week to Mrs. Keener's classroom (room 208) after school on Wednesday to have a celebration and drop in time for kids to see that I'm well and offer a chance for me to say thank you to them for all of their support last year. I'm really looking forward to seeing them and taking pictures and enjoying them seeing me come out the other side of this victorious. Wow. I'm just so grateful for their love and support. I can't tell you how amazing some of the notes and posters were that kids created. They were so encouraging, not to mention the fundraisers and the fact that they all went out and got pink bracelets in support of me for promotion last June. It was amazing and I'm actually not quite sure how to say thank you properly other than for them to see that I'm well and so grateful for their love. Anyway, pass it on if you know any kids at LQHS that might be interested. Feel free to e-mail me also at jbloch@dc.rr.com


Love to you all,
Julie

Update 3/6

Hi all,
I know it has been a couple of weeks since I've posted anything. I had the opportunity to attend a couple of conferences out of town so I went and they were great. I came back on Sunday and was pretty wiped and then spent yesterday preparing to participate in worship last night at the women's monthly event called Jacob's Well. It was really cool becuase Paul Talley, Dave Harrison and Kevin Haerr played and Sandi Kelley sang. Dana Chapman was ill with the flu so he wasn't able to be there but the ladies seemed really happy to have a full band. I was glad that the guys were up for it.
On the medical front, here's what's going on. I had treatment yesterday morning and felt fine afterwards, though today I'm totally shattered. I've spent most of the day in bed other than a visit to the dermatologist where he removed something abnormal and stitched me up. It's not associated with any of the breast cancer stuff. I'm just being pro-active in removing a suspicious mole. Anyway, I feel really out of it today. I think yesterday was a lot going on and maybe too much. I feel like I've learned to slow way down, which is good, but two major things like treatment and worship on the same day is too taxing, I think. So, now I know for next time.
I'll have a PET scan (a way of detecting recurrence of the cancer I had anywhere in the body) this coming Friday and then a visit with my oncologist to review the results next Monday along with the echocardiagram they did on my heart recently (just to make srue the chemo drugs didn't cause any damage). I'm planning on doing a PET scan every three months for the first year and then every six months and then annually following that unless Dr. Luke advises otherwise. Other than that, I'm still doing Herceptin every three weeks until August (that was yesterday's treatment), blood tests as needed and tamoxifen daily. I really haven't noticed any side effects from the tamoxifen which is great. I'll get my port removed in August after my last treatment.
One thing that continues to bother me is the mobility issues with my shoulders and my neck is bothered as well. I'll go to physical therapy on Thursday, but James DiBari suggested that I see his friend Marilyn who has really helped him with a breakthrough on his shoulder. Since she employs a variety of techniques and not just pt protocal perhaps that will help. Being out of town and not on my regular regimen probably also hasnt' helped, but I'm back to a regular schedule tomorrow.
On a side note, I feel like my mind is not as sharp as it was, so I'm thinking that I need to do something to get it in shape. I'm doing a lot of reading and even journaling, but I might take up sudoku since I've heard that helps with brain stuff. Seriously, I find myself doing ditzy things and not being able to remember someone's name or something like that. In general, I just feel like my brain is a bit in slow motion. It's kind of nice to be operating slowly on the one hand, but when I need my neural pathways they seem to be a little cluttered at times.
If you have any suggestions for me, let me know.
So, overall, I'm improving though I still have my blah days like this one where I've just basically been in bed most of the day, but I'm soo so grateful that I can be. I still don't feel like I have the reserve built back up that has been depleted, like there was a margin there and it is really thin and brittle (like my nails are at the moment, incedentally probably due to th meds). I've now realized that embracing the opportunity to rest and recharge is really wonderful and I thank God for it rather than thinking that I "should" be doing a million things. Bottom line is that busy-ness isn't healthy and especially for me right now when I feel stressed out, I just slow down. I wonder how long it will take for me to feel as recharged as I did. People that it takes awhile even though I'm through the tough stuff. I'm just grateful for each day and to have friends like you.

blessings,
Julie