Getting better and better :-) 2/20

I'm finally starting to feel like I can move my joints and muscles without feeling like someone is sticking me in the ribs on the right side. Everything is still generally stiff but sooo much better, likely due to just the healing time from the surgery a few weeks ago. I've been very good and haven't run at all, and only had hardly done arm weights until I went to physical therapy yesterday. Now I'm "armed" with a battery of exercises to help stretch and strengthen all over again. I'm feeling really great, though and it's amazing to actually feel so energetic and just good on the inside. Wow.
The only thing that is a little strange is that, since I'm not working and not doing music very much, and I'm in "recovery" mode I had a couple of days where I was kind of struggling with my identity, but I'm doing better now and so so so grateful that I have this time. It is truly a gift. I think part of my problem is that I was agonizing about how best to utilize my time etc. so I'm thinking and reading about about school stuff and music stuff, bible and God stuff and happy to have the time to go to various doctor appointments, etc.
Today I'm going to Eisenhower to get an echocardiagram just to make sure that all of the chemo and the herceptin that i'm taking now isn't damaging my heart. I feel great but I just wonder how I'm doing on the inside. Speaking of that, I'll be scheduling a PET scan in March to make sure I'm clean and I'll let you know how that goes.
What a gorgeous day outside. Isn't it wonderful how the sun can alight and warm everything?

Blessings,
Julie

Making progress 2/10

Well I would say that it's rather significant that I can now sleep on my side for part of the time and get my arms above my head. I'm still a bit hampered in the latter and my shoulder is a little tweaked, but I know that will work itself out over time and with some exercises. I went back to acupuntcture on Friday and will go twice this coming week to aid with recovery.
I really think that helps.

I went for an infusion of herceptin yesterday, and I still find myself bracing mentally even a few days prior to going in, which seems strange since the chemo part of things is over, but it's still treatment and still a needle, still an infusion so the same kinds of questions kind of come up like "How am I going to feel after this? How will this affect me? How should I plan my day to deal with how I might feel?" and making sure that I eat something substantial before I go even if I don't want to. I'm hoping that the underlying anxiety will quell over time but it's still there. Maybe it's the reminder that I'm still fighting this thing with treatment even though everything is technically over, compounded with the fact that I still have bum days where I don't feel like doing anything. However, overall I have more stamina than I have in the past and I'm getting into a daily rhythm and routine, so that feels good. I've been dialoguing a bit with my friend Rich from school and that has been great mentally. I have some math books to brush up on things as well. Oh, and I'm reading this fabulous book by John Wooden (famous basketball coach) called My Personal Best and it is GREAT. There are wonderful lessons that he shares from his own life, and for me, since I would like to work on re-entering "normal life" in a healthy way I have found the character lessons advisory and helpful.
I've also been listening to podcasts from Ed Young and have really found those to be challenging and helpful in keeping me headed in God's direction. I really enjoy the way he makes ideas accessible yet personally challenging at the same time. Since I haven't been consistently attending church for the past month, it has really helped. I listen to them at the gym or just in the car. In fact, I recommend it.

I'll also get back into physical therapy for a couple of weeks mainly to help restore the motion of the rotators/shoulder/arm etc. which gets messed up when you hold your muscles taught and drawn in. It's also sort of like posture therapy in a way because I've definitely been holding myself inward and I have to concentrate (as I am now) to stand up straight and encourage muscles in directions that they don't want to stretch.

As for exercise, I'm going to the gym every other day and alternating combinations of the elliptical/bike/treadmill and doing some weights with legs to get those strong. I really haven't done anything with my arms yet (aren't you glad I'm being wise about this?) and I can hardly do sit ups becuase of the interface of those muscles with the rib cage but soon I can. I'm going to wait until I go to physical therapy on Monday and see what Ron has to say. I mostly need time to heal up and stretch muscles in the whole upper body area.

I'm looking forward to going to church tonight and being there to celebrate Dan and Joy Perkins and their family. They are wonderful incredible people that have given their hearts and their time serving so many at Southwest and often in ways that are not visible. I'll miss them greatly but am privileged to be able to know them and count them as friends.

Blessings,
Julie

Stitches etc out - ouch but YES!

Hi all,
I went to see Dr. Sherman this past Tuesday and he removed the stitches, the drains (what a relief) and the tape that was supporting both sides underneath. Honestly, the removal of the tape was absolutely the WORST. Ugh. My skin is still in turmoil from that. I definitely needed some pain meds after that visit and even the next day! The fortunate thing was that I couldn't feel the removal of the stitches (I'm numb in that area due to the removal of the tissue there in October) and the drain removal wasn't that bad. It is Saturday and I still have some nagging, sticking pain on the lower right, no doubt where they stitched the insidue muscles and at the same time, had taped the outside skin. Ugh. Sleeping is not fun at the moment and, today for example, I find myself totally wiped out and yet I'm not sure I can explain why. I mean, sure it might have something to do with the fact that I can only sleep on my back and my neck and shoulders are kind of tensed up from the muscles being understaring in that area or maybe it's just that I still don't have the stamina back that I was hoping for. Oh well, it's okay. I'm just so glad that I can take naps when I need to and rest. For example, I'm watching the Empire Strikes Back while writing this and I really don't have energy for anything else. Yesterday, however, I worked out pretty hard at the gym, I mean I did 30 minutes on the eliptical and then another 20 on the recumbant bike. Maybe that was too much. Oh well. I really had been feeling so great, and it was nice to be able to make some progress athletically speaking. I won't be able to run for a few weeks so I'm trying to be able to do some other things in the meantime. It really helps me to manage stress. I am having some trouble taking deep breaths, too and that may be due to the fact that my diaphram was involved indirectly, I mean via the muscles around the rib cage. It's possible that the general anethsesia may have impacted that, too, but I'm not sure.
I guess I still find it surprising that I can still have some rough days where I just have no energy, despite feeling better overall. That being said, I'm so grateful to be DONE. I mean I walked out of Dr. Sherman's office just elated and a bit giddy that it's basically over. Yay!!!

Love to you all,
Julie