I'm home :-)

Hi everyone,
I arrived back home yesterday in the afternoon after physical therapy and pretty much left everything in the car and just came in the house and went through the mail and crashed. Yet, I'm glad to be home and sleep in my own bed and be able to e-mail more regularly, etc and get into a restoration routine here. I mean, It feels good to be home but a bit surreal. I have even had some tears. I'm not exactly sure why but I think that I'm being too hard on myself because I thought I would be in a much stronger place when I got home, but what did I know about surgery ? I mean, I know I'm doing well because that's what all of the health professionals say that I'm working with and they say my progress is really good. I guess I just set high standards for myself and the realization that I'm not where I wanted to be when I came back, energy wise and physical strength and all was a little discouraging. I think I'm greiving a bit and I'm not sure I understand it all yet. I just know that it was a bit teary yesterday and this morning. I'm also just so grateful for the Remy's (aunt and uncle) love for me and how throughout my life they have always extended open arms to me even though they aren't my parents. I have truly experienced the love of Christ through them even though they haven't accepted Jesus into their hearts to live for Him. I am so grateful for them that the word grateful is so bankrupt at expressing it. They are true treasures and I pray that they would ask Christ into their hearts and see what a wonder and fullness it is to live for Him. I'm just amazed how true it is that God is truly in control of everything and He is the ruler of all mankind and he uses everyone whether they know it or not, to show who He is. Wow.
Well, I'm having my morning cup of coffee at the moment and I'm really enjoying that, and then I'm off to the gym just to walk and do my stretches and arm exercises with the thera-bands that I have. I guess, bottom line, is that it is okay to be slow, to be still, to rest. God is the author of rest. He said it is good, so I'll go with that. I'm learning constantly how to listen to what my body will and won't do. It's really a daily thing becuase there could be one day where I make a lot of progress and the next day maintain that or have a little more, but then the following day I have to do less or rest more and I'm learning that it's okay to do that. Proverbs 3:3-5 comes to mind about trusting in the Lord with ALL of my heart and leaning NOT on MY [emphases are all mine] understanding but in ALL of my ways to acknowledge him and HE will make my paths straight. When I think that my ways are far too circuitous and indirect, Christ has a greater plan. So I will trust in him and give thanks and be grateful in ALL things whether good or not good, because no matter the circumstances, God is love and He is good and I know that in my knower.
One foot in front of the other trusting God to lead me on level ground in the process of this "remodel"
Love,
Julie