Update Jan 28th

I'm just so grateful that this is almost over. I can see that God is teaching me to be patient and persevere at the same time. Hmm. Maybe that's the endurance that is talked about in James 1. I sure hope so, because at the end of it is maturity, not for my sake (although that is nice) but so that God can show who He is in us by the way that we trust, we hang in there, we persevere and it's worth it. That was the one prayer that I uttered to Christ when I was first diagnosed: "Lord, I just want it to be worth it." So, if God has used me somehow to show more of Himself, I am grateful. Furthermore, I'm so grateful for the many lessons that I'm learing now that I both am and am not aware of. I'm also so excited to be able to tell of His deliverance from cancer via medicine and skilled doctors and prayer of so many faithful and wonderful people. Often, I am able to share with other doctors (residents at the teaching hospital), other cancer patients, and people at the grocery store or waiting in line somewhere when I'm asked about my hair or whatever. It is so exciting to give all of the honor and praise that is due to Him, becuase it was His healing hands that truly have set me free both in my soul to have eternal relationship with Christ, but also physically healed.
I am grateful for all of you who are praying for me. Truly. What an example you are to me of what it means to be faithful and fervent, and the fact that I'm healed is evidence that your trail is not in vain. Thank you so much. As for current happening, the pain is beginning to subside a bit and my body doesn't feel quite as "kinked" as it has been. My neck shoulders and sides are still out of whack but not nearly as ouchy as the last week has been. I still had to take 1/2 vicodin yesterday and the day before, but it really worked and I didn't feel really out of it, so I was grateful.
I went to the doctor on Friday and he checked me out, and explained that they had done some stitching in the infra-mammary crease and that was likely the reason for my discomfort. The tape is there to provide support and he said that I needed to find some kind of support to help the implants move in the right direction. They need to move together and up slightly. I asked him about the size, in that if over the next couple of months if I wanted to be a little bigger if that were possible. He said yes but it would mean another operation. I have to get my port out in August, so maybe we can do it as a combo, well see. I'm not even sure what the size is since I can't really wear anything normal with the drains hanging underneath, etc. Maybe it's just a big contrast from where I was before surgery which was too big. Anyway, the drains will stay in until Tuesday and hopefully then I'll get them out. I needed to milk them more often than I had been doing in the beginning, so I am diligently doing that and have found a great sports bra that is zip up to help out keep everything together, drains included. It actually helps with limiting pain, too becuase then the tubes don't move around. They are small tubes that come out of each side of my body where my ribs are. That's why theyre uncomfortable, but it is subsiding. I have to say that, looking at the incision sites, I sure look a lot more sliced up this time. Perhaps it's becuase of the incision sites having stitches, and then the wire also connected to the drain site on each side, keeping htem in place whereas last time they used a kind of dermal tape instead on the incision site and only used a stitch on the drains. I hope it will look better when they heal in a few months. I'm just glad that it's pretty much done :-)
Okay, so in light of the fact that I didn't have to be at the doctor until next Tuesday, and my mom was going to leave on Saturday, and my energy was really good, I decided that I would come home for a couple of days. I was able to drive, not like last time where I literally couldn't. I was in pain a little but took some meds when I got home. So I did come home yesterday and it was so nice to try to take a bath and wash my hair in the sink (can't shower until the drains come out-lovely) and sleep in my own bed last night. I also made a big pot of chicken noodle vegetable soup so now I'm set for a few days :-)
I have been quite energetic and wanted to go to the gym, so I went, drains and all this morning. Of course, NO running and even just could walk on the treadmill and then not with a lot of arm movement. Nonetheless, I went and it was great to go. The thing I'm looking most forward to when this is through, frankly, is getting my body back. I feel like it's been out on loan for a bit, and had so many limitations and i don't like how things have shifted around, so I'm looking forward to working on it when I get it back. Dr. Sherman said that I can't run for a couple of weeks or so. So, again I have to be patient but it's okay.
I'm still doing the "up in the middle of the night for two hours" thing that I did with the last surgery but the cool thing about it is that I find myself praying while I'm waiting for my body to want to go back to sleep, and it's nice. Maybe that was part of God's plan. Who knows.
Well, I'm running out of steam and I'm not sure this post is as fluidly written as some of my other ones, so I apologize for that.
Talk to all of you soon,
Julie