Chemo #3, day four...

Well, this round was definitely more difficult. I'm not sure if it was due to the different anti-nausea medication that they gave me or not. I had less peaks of nausea but my head felt like it weighed about 30 pounds just by itself. I couldn't even watch all of Zoolander before I had to just go to bed becuase the couch was too uncomfortable. Imagine that ?! Seriously, after being three days in bed I was excited that I actually could get out of bed this morning and make some cream of wheat for myself before my friend Jen came over later that morning. I would say this is a so-so day. I'm up but not really feeling myself just yet. Still fuzzy. One of the funnier things is not having the concentration to read, so Jen read me My Utmost for His Highest and Streams in the Desert. It was so good to be reminded to "be still" and know that He is God. You would think that in my condition, I would have no other choice, but my mind races just like everyone else's does and it's a battle for everyone to turn off the noises and cultivate that space for Christ. Then those voices that are clamoring, toying for our attention all fade marvelously away. It was a good reminder, so I pass it on :-)

For the first two days, my dad was here and it was great to have his help. After he left, Glynis came in yesterday to make me a smoothie and also came back in the evening to make some string beans and some toast for dinner. Yes, as Chris Wong would say I'm livin it up with string beans and toast...Oh yeah and I'm really liking grapefruit juice. Weird, but it does the trick so much better than just plain water. I'm going through tons of it. Yummmy.

I really have not felt that great the last few days, but I just keep thinking it's temporary and each day is going to get better, right? And today is, since I'm writing to all of you rather than being in bed sleeping. Suffice it to say that each time seems to be a bit different, and that's the way it is. The next chemo, on 7/12 will be the last one of the adiramycin/cytoxin (the nasty red stuff) that I've been going through the last three times. Then, I'll have about 2 1/2 weeks after that to recover before starting a round of four doses of a different drug, taxtiere, which has different side effects (about the beginning of August). I am told that the taxtiere will be much less severe (ooh that rhymes) I sure hope so. I think that some of the yuk that I feel is probably psychological, too. I mean, your body perhaps expects what it went through the time before, and even though technically each dose is the same, the effect subconciously is different. This is why I keep trying to tell myself that it's temporary (as my friend Karen says). Meanwhile, the BRCA testing is underway but it will take about three weeks to get those results back and we'll discuss those.
Thank you everyone for the cards and letters and phone calls of encouragement. Amy Haven your cards seem to be just so timely and aptly spoken. God is really using you to minister to me through them, so thank you! Thank you also for the CD.


Blessings on everyone!
Still fighting,
Julie